last summer there was some hair in the tide
Sitting on a field of astroturf it’s too cold for July
You showed me
pics of pale girls in your secret folder to prove I’m
not your fetish
the spectacle of which has yet to be placated In the
sanctity of protection
I come in pieces Slant eye / kitchen knife / dry heave
I think most of
these relics when I’m not aroused Hair parted harshly
down the center like
red seas It’s the lexicon of morphology How you are
you & I am the gap
I don’t say yes but too faded to notice the extra flesh
The mold of things
To come Blossoming & kinda stubborn like god
I want to be less fake
but the blue moon shines thru my gaptooth Do you
think Passivity
is a pretty name for a girl There is some raw tofu spinning
in the microwave
Slippery like an oiled up whatever Sorry I have to
go home soon
just not now
jessica gives me a chill pill
i kept waking up on different sides of the bed but in this same body
i have to say this right away so you know it didn’t start with limbs
slackened hair oily my cruelty towards the sun it started with the
backseat of jessica pepto dismal truck she tied my hair back with
rubber bands when the freeway passed clean through us pills
waxen tinfoil a hangnail moon I want to feel like a cherry blossom tree
wobbling under lightning I want to go home before the party gets
weird last night I laid down on my bedroom floor opened my
notebook & wrote do not read my diary for twenty pages till my wrists
maybe that’s all religion is the ceaselessness in how I look
at every drop of rain before it touches ground the way my mom
mouths my name in her sleep eating each syllable like a minor
god jessica says I’m a prude cause I don’t inhale quick like her sorry
I’m the type of girl to keep her nudes on a usb drive i hope one
day I can give you shards cut pure & cleaner than me but today
I’m making mirage lakes on the driveway I’m allergic to sunny D and if you
are looking for a sign I will take down what I can on the back of my hand
Angie Sijun Lou is a Chinese writer from Seattle. Her work has been published by Ninth Letter, The Rumpus, Hobart, Cosmonauts Avenue, Metatron, Peach Mag, Voicemail Poems, Yes Poetry, and others. She was nominated for the 2016 Bettering American Poetry anthology and the Pushcart Prize. This fall she will begin a PhD in Asian American Literature at UC Santa Cruz.
Image Credits: Katherine Bradford, “Diver Blue/Red,” 2012.
